Ready for an audacious claim?
The mental skill of untangling facts from stories is the single most important performance enhancing and well-being inducing tool available to anyone and everyone…
Fact: “That which is unarguable, e.g., people don’t argue with it. What a video camera would have recorded. Factual and objective description. Black and white reality” (15 commitments of Conscious Leadership, p. 142).
Story: “That which is arguable, e.g., people argue with it–opinions, beliefs, judgments, interpretations, motivations, and assumptions” (15 commitments of Conscious Leadership, p. 142).
Fact: My heart is beating very fast, and I have had four bowel movements in the past 3 hours since waking up.
Story: I am very nervous, worried, and I must not be ready to give this very important presentation to 200 colleagues at work.
OR?
Fact: My heart is beating very fast, and I have had four bowel movements in the past 3 hours since waking up.
Story: I am excited, alert, and ready to go. My body is preparing itself, so the majority of my attention can be spent on confidently, passionately, and successfully delivering this presentation.
Fact: My girlfriend had a dismayed expression on her face when she looked at me.
Story: She doesn’t like the way I look. She is no longer attracted to me.
OR?
Fact: My girlfriend had a dismayed expression on her face when she looked at me.
Story: She was deeply processing some disappointing news.
Fact: Nobody leaves comments on my blog posts.
Story: Nobody cares. Nobody is reading.
OR?
Fact: Nobody leaves comments on my blog posts.
Story: Many people are reading, getting value, and processing my words in ways other than leaving comments. By the way, when was the last time I left a comment on someone else’s blog post that I really liked?
A story is just ONE interpretation of the facts… As my friend George Damian has written, “the distinction between a sign or a coincidence is up to you…”
The skill is in seeing clearly enough to choose and staying flexible enough to change stories as necessary to serve your situation, your intended outcome, and the interplay between the two (situation x behavior = result), i.e., SELF-REGULATION.
Your expectations and explanations dictate your reality. Therefore, you will NOT believe it when you see it… You WILL see it ONLY AFTER you BELIEVE it to be true.
Pt. 2
